05 Jul Negative traits are learned, NOT inherited
I recently learned something that honestly kind of blew my mind and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since.
You know your anxiety? Your anger? The other attributes you don’t really like about yourself but just brush off as being “part of the way I am”?
You LEARNED to be that way. It is NOT in your genes.
You often hear people say that anxiety or anger runs in their family. That may be true, but for different reasons than we’re led to believe.
It gets passed along from generation to generation because traits, both negative and positive, are learned in childhood and instilled in adulthood.
We develop bad self-image from watching other adults tear themselves down and from several industries advertising and teaching us we are not good enough.
Please do not get me wrong. I’m not saying personalities aren’t inherited; in my opinion they certainly are – although many studies in the nature vs. nurture debate say that personalities are nurtured; I choose to believe the perspective that grants me more power but that’s outside the point.
I’m saying that behaviour is the result of how that personality interacts with external factors in everyday life. That means worrying and holding onto anger is not simply in your DNA.
They are things you have learned to do and have developed throughout your life.
There’s a huge beauty in all of this. Realizing that negative traits are learned comes with realizing that you can also unlearn them or replace them with other traits you would rather have.
You can replace anger with forgiveness and understanding.
You can replace worrying with gratitude.
You can entirely change your perception of life.
I find it so empowering to know that I have so much capacity for change.
It’s been proven that aggressive and anxious people don’t live as long. They release more cortisol (the stress hormone) in their brains and this is basically poison for your mind and body.
Why are you holding onto anger towards another person when it is doing absolutely nothing to them but literally killing you?
Why the hell would you choose to waste your precious time worrying about something that likely hasn’t even happened yet?
How could you not put in effort towards changing things negatively impacting your life when, as an adult, you are basically fully in control of them?
It won’t happen over night and like any skill, will take a lot of practice and upkeep – but I am choosing to be positive. I am choosing to be happy.
You have the power!
Please use it!